I am staring outside the window of the clock tower down on the streets, impatiently looking for him. The dim shimmer of the moonlight casts shadows on my porcelain skin. My hope wanes with every passing second, while my body aches. Aches to see him, to touch him. Coldness radiates from the plain old brick wall and the smell of dust lingers in my nostrils, tickling me. My heartbeat matches the pace of my feet moving around in the dark room, my nerves are on edge. Time passes extremely slow and it feels like I’ve been waiting forever. It makes me feel rejected and I feel stupid for believing he’d show up. Disappointed I put together what’s left of my pride and make my way to the door as something whooshes behind me. Unintentionally, a smile slips across my lips and I can’t contain my joy. Twirling around rapidly on my heels I glance at his handsome face, which is smirking at me. A few strands of my blonde mane got stuck in my face and I hear a deep hum reverberating in his broad chest. He’s laughing at me and instantly I remember I should be mad at him. As I try to tame my stray strands I try to hide my excitement to see him and instead pout at him, showing him how mad I am at him for making me wait.
Instantly his posture changes and a deep sigh escapes his throat. For a few moments we just stare each other in the eye. Tension builds between us and there are so many unsaid things lingering between us in the air. My body is longing for him, even though I know it’s wrong and against the rules. But still, we can’t stay away from each other. As time passes I don’t have to pretend to be mad or disappointed anymore because a suffocating sadness took it’s place and I am just happy to see him again. Maybe it’s the last time I am ever going to see him again. Warily, I break the tension but I can’t look at him.
“I…I thought you wouldn’t show up!” I say with a thin voice and play with the tips of my hair to avoid the emotion to take over.
Taking one step towards me he tries to close the space between us but he can’t look me in the eye and this means I hit the spot.
“You’re right. I didn’t want to show up. It’s to dangerous! I shouldn’t….Hell, you deserve so much more than this!” He rants and raises his voice turning away from me. “But I couldn’t resist seeing you again.” Adding in a small voice. He walks over to the window and leans against it, exhaling loudly. Fidgeting with my fingers I walk over to him.
“Elijah, don’t be like this! You know I hate it when you’re shutting me out!” I scold but he still doesn’t turn around.
“I know it may be best for both of us if I would leave you alone but I just can’t stay away from you! Every cell in my body is longing for you!” Elijah breathes and turns towards me causing my breath to falter. I can’t bear the distance between us anymore. In a elegant move I wrap my arms around him and glance in his beautiful glowing green eyes.
“My body aches for you as well! I have never felt this way about anyone else in my life!” I say and lean in to kiss him. Leaning down he reaches for my lips but in the last second he pushes me softly away and steps back a few feet. His body rages, torn between his longing, fear and his thirst.
“I can’t….!” He says repeatedly and paces up and down in front of the window.
“Yes, you can!” I try to soothe him but whenever I try to close the distance between us he steps back immediately.
“Adaline, please stop!” He urges me and I halt. Hurt over his rejection I stop.
“Then why did you came here in the first place? I just want to be with you, feel you, touch you….kiss you….! I want to be connected with you like…like we were the other night!” I stammer while I suppress my tears.
Somehow I hit a point because he twirls around with a grace I have never seen anywhere else before and glances tempestuous at me.
“Don’t you think I don’t want this as well? I want you so badly, but after what happened that night, I just can’t anymore! I don’t want to hurt you again!” Guilt covers his sad eyes and he stares at a particular spot on my neck. I try to hide it with my hand but it’s useless because he knows exactly what’s under my skin.
“Ever since the incident it gets harder and harder for me to resist. Your smell is intoxicating and your blood… since I tasted it I can’t control myself around you anymore. And I know exactly what happens if I can’t stop! We are just too different. We don’t belong to each other!” He sighs frustrated.
A silence lingers between us again, both of us are immersed in our thoughts. I know he’s right but I don’t want to loose him either. He means too much for me to give him up that easily.
“Maybe I enjoyed it?” A weak attempt of me to persuade him not to give up on us. But he just frowns at me which makes me blush.
“Then why did you groan in pain?” He asks with a sharp voice. ” I hurt you and I can’t forgive myself!”
He’s right. It did hurt but somehow deep down I kind of enjoy it though. In the spur of the moment a thought crossed my mind and hope crawls back into my body!
“Bite me! Change me! Turn me into a vampire like yourself! Than we can be together, for eternity!” I beam but his frown gets even deeper.
“No way!” He growls. “Are you out of your mind! I am not going to turn you into a bloody monster just like I am!”
I close the distance between us and pout at him. “Please, just think about it! We can be together! Spend the rest of our lives together without living in fear!”
Elijah takes a few steps back and paces around the room, battling with himself! His features changes with every second and he’s torn.
I am watching him with big bright eyes.
“No, no, no, no, no…..no!” He’s mumbling and comes to a stop. Turning towards me again he has made his decision.
“As much as I would enjoy spending eternity with you I just can’t turn you! Even if it means to stay away from you and break your heart! I swore to myself never ever to put this fate – my fate – onto anyone else on purpose. You have a choice to live your life. To grow old. Be human and not be a lifeless, blood-thirsty monster like I am. I hadn’t had a choice in being turned. The day I was turned I lost everything. My family, my reputation, my life…. I was on the chase. Everyone wanted me dead because I was different. For years I was on my own. I had no one. I was lost and enraged and didn’t know how to cope with all these new powers. I slaughtered innocent people just to stay alive. I was a murderer and there was a time where I enjoyed killing and playing with my prey. I was reckless and out of control. It took me forever to control my powers and I wouldn’t be the per….vampire I am today if it wasn’t for Vlad. He took me into his clan, took care of me and taught me how to cope with being a vampire. Without him I would’ve wound up dead.” He pauses a second to let all of it sink in. My heart aches even more for the man I love.
“You don’t know what you’re wishing for! It’s a burden I don’t want to put on you! I don’t want you to end up in the same misery I’m at. You don’t know what it feels like to watch your family grow old, live their lives and die right in front of your eyes while you’re not aging. It’s torture. You have so much to live for. You don’t want to loose your family because deep down I know you love your father besides his believes!” He states and my throat feels like it’s being tied up.
It gets harder for me to breathe and I gasp for air. My heart beats heavily in my chest. A roaring noise echoes in my ears and they start to ring while my vision starts to blurr. I start to tumble.
“I…can’t….breathe….!” I whisper. Worry covers Elijah’s face and immediately he pulls me into his arms.
“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” He asks frightened. Clinging to his biceps I pull him closer whispering into his ears.
“You’re…you’re right! That’s…not….that…was….stupid… I shouldn’t have asked you for something like….!” I stutter weakly as a sudden pain disturbs my abdomen and I scream in pain. Elijah pulls me closer into his arms trying to find out what’s happening.
“Adaline, talk to me! What’s going on? Why are you in pain?” Elijah asks repeatedly with a distressed voice.
His voice sinks into my ears but I can’t take anything in. My eyes flutter and slowly I am losing the grip of reality drifting off into oblivion – still plagued by immense pain in my abdomen.
Elijah swears and holds me and all of a sudden he freezes.
“Damn, it!” He swears in the distance as I perceive footsteps outside of the room we’re in. Many footsteps and babble of a crowd.
“They’re in there!” A few voices shout at the same time and the door swings opens with a fierce thump.
The last thing I perceive is an angry mob of townsmen with pitchforks, shilly-shallys, crucifixes and holy water before I faint.
A clinking sound surfaces in the distance. Metal bars rattle upon each other as I regain consciousness. My bones are heavy and limb from the surrounding coldness. Down here, the lights are dim and I can barely see anything yet feel anything. I feel numb inside and the pain from early is still here even though I can’t feel anything right now. I feel dead because of all the pain and frozen limbs. Cold sweat runs down my neck and I shiver. I feel terrible on the inside and outside. Everything hurts: my bones, my limbs, my heart, my feelings….Currently I guess death would be a better option. Sorting out my still hurting head I think about has what happened and where I am. Heaving myself up with a lot of effort I glance around my surroundings. A few candles shed light upon the dark brick walls. Metal bars surround me and every other spot along the corridor. In the back corner is a wooden plank bed chained to the wall. Moving myself a little bit I hear another clinking sound. Glancing around I notice the shackles around my wrists. I am in a dungeon. I am imprisoned. My eyes widen at the realization and I try to reconstruct the events that happened before I fainted.
Elijah and I were at the clock tower, I was in severe pain and the townsmen caught us together.
“Oh, no…!” I gasp. They caught me with a vampire! Immediately I know my fate as realization settles. Sighing I think about Elijah and what happened to him. The thought of not knowing what happened to him kills me. My heart aches for him and I crawl towards the cell door, ignoring the recurring pain in my insides. I move slowly but I am moving. My once splendid and noble dress gets even more torn and ruined than it already is but I couldn’t care less. I grab the metal bars at my cell door and cling to them, heaving myself up.
“Elijah! Elijah! Are you there?” I scream as loud as I can but there’s no answer. My throat gets sore and I cease. My limbs give in and I can’t support myself anymore, collapsing on the floor exhausted. Tears stream down my face about everything that happened and I start to sob.
“What have I done? I was so stupid?” I scold myself as my innards start to burn again and I wrap my arms around my stomach to stop the pain, though it’s useless as something occurred to me and my eyes widen in shock.
My cell door swings open and as I glance towards the entrance a familiar silhouette walks towards me.
“Give us some privacy!” The man demands and the guard nods, walking off in the distance.
He towers in front of me and stares at me with a disappointed and betrayed expression.
I cringe and feel so small. I can’t even look him in the eye. After a long unbearable silence he finally says something.
“How could you do this to me? How could you betray me like this? How could you defile my reputation and yours like this? For…for a godforsaken monster like him? It’s like I don’t know you anymore!” He scoffs and eyes me like I am scum. It hurts like hell to see him looking at me like this!
“I’m sorry, father…..!” I stutter but hold back a second. Am I even sorry for this? No! He can’t talk about Elijah like this. Anger ignites inside of me and I straighten myself as good as possible.
“Don’t talk about him like that! He’s not a monster!” I hiss and my father startles at my tone.
“Pardon me! How dare you talk to me like this, young lady! I am expecting you to apologize for your behaviour!” He scolds and slaps me on my cheek.
I am startled about his action. He never hit me before. My cheek stings and I start to rub it.
“No, I am not! I am not letting you offend the man I love!” I state and my father grimaces and scoffs.
“Love?” He laughs furious. “You are being ridiculous! You can’t love a…creature like him!”
The words of my father make me even angrier. “Of course I can! He took better care of me than you did your whole life!” I scream and he’s appalled at my statement.
He gasps. “What in god’s name happened to you?” He says and turns his head up in the sky. “God, what did I do to you to offend me like this?” He turns his head back down at me. “I know it. You’re not my daughter anymore. He took you away from me. He turned you. You’re one of them now!” Exasperated he throws his hands up in the air and paces in front of me. As he turns back his eyes glance at me with disgust. He turns on his heels and is on his way out – I can feel the immense loss he’s feeling – but I stop him and he glances back at me. I can feel his pain because I feel it too. Now I know what Elijah meant with losing family. I have lost my father. Nothing is going to change his mind. Either way, I still have to try it.
“No, I am not a vampire! I am still human. I am still your daughter. It’s just….Vampires aren’t as bad as we always thought they were. Just because you’re Archbishop and the bible says they’re demons doesn’t mean it’s true. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Elijah was different!” I say but my father grimaces as I say his name. “He was nice and charming and took care of me, he never hurt me!” I continue but instinctively my father’s eyes glance at my neck and I immediately cover his bite marks. “He never hurt me intentionally! I just happened in the spur of the moment.” I defend him but there’s a slight silence. He’s thinking and suddenly he’s shocked.
“You…were…you were intimate with him? You…you had coition with him?” He asks appalled and immediately makes the sign of the cross. “Dear, Lord!”
I swallow and regret my words. The look he gives me now is even more hurtful than his scornful expression from earlier.
“I didn’t raise you to be a despicable whore!” He says horrified and his words sting in my chest. Turning on his heels he walks out of my cell without even looking at me. I don’t want to let him walk away just like that!
“Wait!” I shout and he stops but doesn’t look at me.
“What are they going to do to Elijah and me?” I ask careful. For a moment I thought he’s not going to answer and just walk away but then he winces and glances at my pathetic silhouette inside the cell.
“You both are getting what you deserve!” He bites out and looks at me like I was something evil. Something that just came straight out of hell. It hurts to see him looking at me like this and my mouth drops open. Grief fills my heart and tears run down my cheek as I hear his steps trail off in the distance. I am alone again.
Days passed. I still feel numb inside but this feeling is never going to fade. With every passing day my strength is dwindling. I feel hollow and halfway dead. Since I am down here I haven’t had anything to eat nor to drink, my heart is still scattered in pieces and the pain inside me won’t stop. I don’t know how long I am going to survive this. In the distance I hear footsteps and a few moments later two guards are at my cell door opening it. They heave me up and drag me outside along the corridor. It’s happening. I try to stay awake but it’s getting harder to remain conscious with all the movement. The cell blocks blur past me and as the guards open a door I am blinded by daylight. Far away I can hear a gathered crowd but one voice stands out. A loud and deep voice which is music to my ears.
“Let me through! I want to see her!” Elijah screams and my heart fills with joy only hearing his voice. He’s alive and he’s screaming for me. Instantly I am wide awake glancing back and forth for the handsome face I adore so much. I catch his eye and he glances at me relieved, well only for a second as he realizes how terrible I look. His brow wrinkles in worry but no matter how hard the guards try to tame him he’s much stronger and he breaks free rushing towards me. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me but immediately pulls back as my skin burns him. Obviously they covered my whole body in holy water. I didn’t even noticed when they did it.
“What happened to you? You look terrible!” He says and eyes me.
“I was worried about you too! Are you alright!” I answer and in the background I can hear shouts of dislike about our show of affection towards each other. “Now I know how you must have felt your whole life!” I try to joke but he does not laugh.
“I’m sorry about what happened!” I stammer and glance upon my deathbed.
“Don’t be sorry! Sooner or later they would’ve found us anyway!” Elijah says and feels guilty.
“It’s all my fault! I should’ve stayed away from you!” Elijah answers and turns away. “I’m the one who should be sorry!”
“No you shouldn’t! I enjoyed every second I spent with you!” I respond and I feel how my strength leaves me and I start to feel delusional while the guards try to drag me up the stairs towards the executioner.
“We should’ve ran away as long as we had the chance! Just the three of us!” I say but he just glances at me befuddled. His brow wrinkles again.
“What are you talking about?” He asks confused.
“I am…” I start as it dawns him.
“You’re….you’re pregnant?” He stammers louder than expected and the crowd subsides. An eerie silence fills the hangman’s place but is shortly followed by loud screams.
“Behead her! Behead her!” “Demon” Are some of the shouts which fill her ears.
The guards cuff Elijah with special shackles now and drag him away from me. He still can’t believe what I just said to him. He’s going to loose so much today! Unconsciously I am searching my father in the crowd to look at his face but immediately regret it. His hateful glance stings and I turn away. I am ready to die. I have nothing to loose anymore. I am upon the wooden stage draped over a stone and with a large basket in front of my nose. The executer takes his place on my right side his axe hovering over my neck. Some guards chain Elijah just opposite of me to a wooden stake so he is forced to watch my execution. I feel bad he has to witness it but also I am kind of relieved he’s going to be the last thing I am going to see before I die. The last thing I hear are Elijah’s words: “I love you!” I mumble them back but I am too slow.